Chain a blog by Jeff Barnes

A short story on cycling the remote Outer Hebrides cluster of Islands had me scurrying […]

It is interesting to watch the excitement build amongst the bird lovers on the zodiac. Whilst some of us get excited by Formula One racing or football, there is a particular species of humans whose blood pressure rises at the distant flapping of wings or unusual birdsong. I fall into the interested without wetting my pants tribe. That said, there were a couple aboard who will certainly have to make a costume change when we return to the ship.

Towards the end of my meal all of the phones in the restaurant began flashing, mine included. I looked at the screen ‘earthquake warning’ take shelter… all around me people picked up their phones then put them back down. A eerie silence fell over the place. The walls started to shake, the floor, my beer sloshed about. I looked around for some guidance, no panic but no joy either. For five minutes no-one spoke.

I plucked up enough courage to head out on an E mountain bike to a nearby canyon and test my ankle. How hard can it be I thought ? Power assisted, three speeds but when the canyon narrowed, when the gravel became loose and steep, where recent rains had gouged the surface I was pushing that bloody bike and swearing under my breathe. When it flattened out back towards the lodge the guide wanted to fist pump in celebration. But that’s only because earlier we had doubled back repeatedly and I knew him to be lost.

The barman returned with bad news, he had ducked across the road to the nearby pastry shop only to find they were sold out. He shrugged in that theatrical Italian way. Maybe a bambino pizza ? It was 11am… maybe not. I looked around me, I’m the only other drinking coffee, the locals were all at various stages of downing their first birre of the day. Not in a hurry mind you for they had nothing to do, nowhere to go, only gossip to inhale. I decided on a cappuccino hoping the sweetness might fulfil my sugary urge and I had 100 kms to ride. The locals looked on in disdain at my frothy drink. I felt their eyes on me as I paid my few coins and remounted my bike, I hadn’t cut it today maybe tomorrow ?

 I’d been nervous about travelling to Africa. The poverty and hardship means that life and […]

Overnight it poured in Twizel and on the surrounding mountains. There was a fresh dusting of snow, a reminder of how fickle the weather can be here. The morning riding was picturesque along a manmade canal then we turned to follow lake Oahu to the very Scottish styled Lake Oahu lodge. Its exclusive guests would definitely frown on us grubby cyclists sitting in the club chairs for a late morning coffee and home made tart but that’s what we did. I started to dream of a simpler holiday, like falling asleep peering through the dappled light towards the lake.

Traudl had recommended visiting the Galleria Lafayette. Little did I know it was a famous department store but two blocks before reaching the front door it was hold onto your wallet territory. The shop windows were full of animated scenes of Christmas with elves and others busily preparing gifts. Inside the store people were throwing down house loan wads of money to buy designer this and that. I’ve seen frenzy shopping before but not at this decadent level of opulence or feverish enthusiasm. Yet not far down the road others less well off were sleeping in subzero conditions in flimsy tents along the Seine and city doorways.

We get our budget rooms, shower and head next door. The lady who greets us is absolutely the same lady who rang an English speaking friend to get my food order all those years ago. I show her the photo she breaks into a huge smile. It is called injeon in Korea or fate in the Western world but it is held in high regard by the people here. It’s a warm friendly night eating, drinking and telling stories. For much of it the woman owner sits with us as Noah translates her stories and then mine back to her. We embrace at the door as we head out into the dark. Life is amazing.

As I stumble to bed I notice the rear tyre is flat… not again. A beer and a half carafe of wine may have swayed my decision making. I decide to fix it there and then. I turn the bike upside down in the room, off comes the wheel and I begin stripping the tyre. The tube I had repaired was leaking so at least it wasn’t a puncture. It was then that the wheels fell off my world, literally. As I rotated the wheel the cluster of oily gears slipped from the axle onto the pristine carpet. Disaster… I frantically tried to stuff them back on. No success, I need better lighting so I take my wheel into the shiny white bathroom complete with operating theatre quality lighting.